Overwhelmed

It's been one of those weeks. No, lets say months. It's been one of those months.

In January I pretty much knew how my year was going to look. Live life out at home until summertime, and then off to a foreign country with the organization that I love:

Global Encounters. {seriously check them out. awesome stuff}

So I signed up to go on a mission trip to Columbia, thinking that this was for sure what God wanted me to do this year. It seemed that He had opened many different doors and all of them were leading me to Columbia. I got accepted immediately, it seemed my parents were happy about it, and I also was excited.

About two weeks later my Dad abruptly changed his mind, and decided that Columbia would not be the best place for me to go. That day was tough. Well, i should say that the beginning of that day was tough. Around lunch time I randomly grabbed a magazine and flipped through it. At the left-hand corner of page 16 was an insert that announced the 2012 trip to Israel for college age kids. Just for fun I showed it to Dad, reminding him of his trip to Israel and how someday I would like to go. His face brightened and he said, "why not?" My eyes flew open and I said:

"Dad. I was being sarcastic."

But the more we talked, the more he thought I should go, and the bigger my eyes got. Pretty sure they were as big as piepans by the time we were done with that conversation. Dad said I should at least apply for the trip and see if they accept me or not. So I agreed whole-heartedly to sign up. I mean, who wouldn't? It's Israel! I had dreamt about it my entire Christian life.

To walk where He walked.

To visit places that He was born, crucified, and raised from the dead.

To swim in the sea that He calmed with His voice.

To climb Mt. Carmel....

I kinda was in a daze for a few hours just thinking about it. Okay, i still am.

Later that day I was in the car running errands, and my phone buzzed the special "yougotatextmessage" vibration. It was my friend Alexandra. After exchanging "hello's" she asked me a question.

"Hey K'tch, you wanna go to Australia for our 20th birthdays?"

Now, for those who don't know Alex, she is fluent in Sarcasm. She has a real gift, lemme tell ya. :)

So I took her question anything but seriously.

"Sure!" I said, "when do we go?"

"K'tch, I'm serious."

My heart literally fell to my toes and my eyes were once again pie-pans.

I was immediately thinking, "Lord! Is this Your will? Literally six hours after you close a door you have opened two others!? This can't be possible. Can it?"

I went home in a torrent of mixed emotions. Kangaroos. Baklava. Sydney Opera House. Camels. Muslims. Samaria. Koala Bears. Temple Mount. Osama Bin Laden {oh wait, he's dead}. Nemo. The Great Barrier Reef. Ministry. God's will for me. Sunshine. Planes. Terrorist attacks. The Wailing wall. What will Dad say? Oh yeah, what WILL Dad say?

"Sounds like fun! {a day passes...} I think you should go."

{He likes to make fast decisions.}

"What? Dad, you just gonna send me to Israel for a month to visit the terrorists, and then send two 19 year old girls across the planet to have fun for a few weeks. BY THEMSELVES???!!!!"

"Yeah. You never know how much time you have left before you won't be able to go anywhere."

Needless to say I was overwhelmed. Big time. It has been a couple months, and that overwhelmed~ness still hasn't worn off. Because I am going.

I AM GOING TO ISRAEL AND AUSTRALIA!!!

{a few pics of Australia} Photo credit

{beautiful Israel} Photo credit

This time of year {the planning-my-year-out stage} always brings past failures to my mind. Am I worthy of this? Will I be of good report? Will I be a light at all times? Will there be people on the team that I will have conflict with? Will I guard my heart?

The verses that have been brought to my mind constantly are these:

"A man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps. (Prov. 19:21)

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth." (Prov.27:1)

"The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord." (Prov.16:1)

"For the Lord will be my confidence, and will keep my foot from being caught." (Prov.4:26)

Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." (Prov.4:23)

"Unto Him who is able to keep you from falling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless and with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ out Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." (Jude 24-25)

And this hymn has also been in my heart:

"Keep me in the shadow of the cross,

Purge my weary soul of its dross,

Fill me with Thy Spirit til' the whole wide world may see,

The Light that shone from Calvary,

Shining out through me."