a broken fullness

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I am doing so well at blogging, it's incredible. Rockin' that "every week or so I will be good and write never" schedule. Like a boss.

I've hesitated writing this post for two years, and I'm so glad I did! 

BTW: This was written with the permission of both parties involved. :)  


About a week ago was the two year anniversary of a tear-filled day. Month. Okay, six months. 

A wedding was unexpectedly cancelled between two people very dear to me. A relationship ended that seemed to be "most definitely the right thing." It was all ready - the church, the dress, guests were flown in, their first house was purchased, flowers were in the fridge ready for bouquets, speeches were written - everything. Then it was all brought to a screeching halt. 

In so many ways we are forever healing until heaven, don't you think? (Rev. 21:4)

In the meantime - everything God does is beautiful. He is able to take what is pain, defeat, tragedy and does the impossible with it. He uses it. He instructs with it. He creates a testimony out of it. 

Maybe not in that moment, maybe not one year later - but two years later I can look back and see God's hand in the midst of disappointment and confusion.
I can see those specific prayers answered above and beyond all I could have asked or imagined. (Eph.3:20)
 Two years later and the story is still growing in vibrancy with God's faithfulness!

I see now the roots deep down and the leaves growing taller, fuller, and blooms to boot!


When expectations (unrealistic or not) are dashed:

Friendships get to start all over again.

By the complete grace of God they were rebuilt as only those friendships willing to trust God and try again could be. And oh! It is so much better!

Bitterness is always a possibility. 

 It never had a chance to make a home in the hearts involved. I praise God for the amazing ability to say that!  

New dreams become possible. 

New directions were made beautifully clear, and are now being chased! 

Transformation inevitably happens. 

It is a choice we have whether to stay in the ugly rubble or see the hope God offers for us to grow more like Him. So much was ripped away, so many expectations completely crushed - to expose raw hurts and needs that had been festering beneath the surface for a long time. Suddenly exposed for all to see, healing began. 

So here we are. Still healing. Slowly growing.

 I am grateful for the pain of these memories. It brings me to the feet of Jesus in prayer, in thanksgiving, and also in excitement at the further transformation I continue to see.

I am so glad I didn't write this post back then - it would have been a rant of disappointment and a whole lot of "WHY!?" Just a sad, ugly pot of hopelessness. 

Who knew that seeds were sown that horrible week, and they were soon to grow new, stronger roots, and sprout heavenward? God did. Praise you Father!

"He gives a greater grace." 

(James 4:6)