what can I expect, Lord?

Change is a harsh word to some. Others find it easy. I thought I found it to be easy, until this year. This year I realized that I had things called expectations.

I have found myself to have expectations in good things for a good cause that have absolutely no ground in God's will. 
expectations in timing.
expectations in people.
expectations in circumstances.
expectations shaped by culture.
expectations shaped by life experience.
expectations shaped by principles and absolutes of Scripture.  

I respond and live out of these expectations, and struggle to cope, be content, and simply rest in God when these good ideas, dreams, and desires don't pan out. 

"Why??" "Aren't they good things? According to Your Word, Lord? According to Your character? I can see us both benefiting from this. Win, win!"

Or sometimes it is the other way around:

"'I don't need to do that Lord, it really is a ridiculous idea! Of all people, why did it have to be that person You asked me to befriend? Seriously, the desert? You want me to go live in the desert?" {more on that later :)} 

When God flips our lives upside down in different ways, spilling all that was comfortably tucked away and hidden from even our own eyes ~ it is not by accident. It is not to bring pain. It is not to set you on a path of confusion and tears. Nay, it is to bring to light those ignored dirty spots that need cleansing, reveal areas of pride and selfishness, and to discover those gems of character that need to be polished and shined. Truth ought to reshape our expectations.

Perhaps what I thought was good was not best. Perhaps that option did not come to pass for my benefit. Yes, perhaps that frustration came even for the glory of God! Perhaps I should remember that God never loses. He always wins. He is always right. His plan always is best. His timing is always perfect. His changes to myself and my surroundings will be incredibly beautiful "in His time." {Ecc. 3:11} Not to mention: 

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." {1 Cor.2:9}

So whatever plan I had, whatever idea I came up with, whatever place I imagined myself to live? It is downright ugly compared to His book of thoughts, dreams, and wonderful details that has the name of His child on it. 
I cannot expect that my will will be done, but HIS will be done! So with each thread given or taken away, with each apparent "flaw" and "snag" - I can, just like Joseph in that dungeon, expect that God has a higher purpose. {Gen.50:19-21}

"In every change, He faithful will remain..."

{Katharina von Schlegel}